Sunday, October 6, 2013

Death of a Marker

One thing that I find very irritating is when one of my students leaves the cap off of a dry erase marker. This happened a couple of weeks ago, and to illustrate how deeply it bothers me, I had a funeral service at the beginning of each of my classes. Standing next to a grave of dead markers (which is basically a box with a foam tombstone attached), I said the following:

"I regret to inform you that this morning, at approximately 7:40 A.M, I entered the classroom and noticed that the cap on Black Dry-Erase Low Odor Chiseled Tip Expo Marker was not firmly attached. I feared the worst, rushed over to Black Dry-Erase Low Odor Chiseled Tip Expo Marker, picked it up, and attempted to draw a squiggle on the board. Alas, nothing came out. Black Dry-Erase Low Odor Chiseled Tip Expo Marker's life force was depleted.

Today, we honor the life of  Black Dry-Erase Low Odor Chiseled Tip Expo Marker. No, you weren't perfect. Mistakes were made. But, you were a bold marker. You helped us solve the most difficult of math problems. It seems like just yesterday we were writing the one-hour delay bell schedule on the board.

You were taken from this world too soon. Your last act was to write "Hi Mr Kraft" on the board with a smiley face underneath. Little did I know, that you were really saying good-bye. I will miss you Black Dry-Erase Low Odor Chiseled Tip Expo Marker. Say "hi" to Red for us."



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Here is a picture of Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters II. Some of my students find this poster disturbing. I don't know why.

"Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back." -Vigo, the Carpathian

15 comments:

  1. Ha ha! I love this. My students get a dry erase marker for their own use at their desks every day, and I routinely find them on the floor without their caps closed.

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  2. Too funny. Hope it makes a difference in the life of a marker.

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  3. Love it! We still use chalk at our school, the little bits make great projectiles. Watched a couple of videos on your website. Great stuff, your students must really enjoy your classes.

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  4. Auspens. Refill, and resuscitate after they leave the caps off.

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  5. Those poor dry erase markers are the cannon fodder of education. Its nice that you took the time to recognize the sacrifices those brave markers made.

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  6. This is great. I love how you said his "formal name" each time in honor of the occasion.

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  7. Love. Any time I see a student abuse my precious markers I offer to sell it to them for $1. I haven't sold one yet, but it does motivate them to treat the markers with kindness.

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  8. I have to say that I thought your post was going to be in response to the MTBoS prompt about problem-solving: How long does it take a marker to dry out when left uncapped?

    And now I'm left with so many questions! How long does it take? What's the difference in dry-out time for totally uncapped compared to partially uncapped? Does it depend on the brand of marker? It's color? On how new it was when it was left uncapped? Temperature? Humidity...?

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  9. Nathan, I'm sorry to hear of your recent loss. I wonder if your students have made any vows to change their ways after learning of the sad demise of Black Dry-Erase Low Odor Chiseled Tip Expo Marker. Sometimes it is necessary to reach rock bottom before change can happen.

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